Should We Marry?
Updated: May 2, 2021
An amazing intricacy of Vedic marriage compatibility system.
We are in love, and thinking about building a wonderful life together. All important questions about finances, children, dreams and expectations are already talked over. We still sometimes inadvertently miss each other’s "signals", or get irritated with the difference of opinions, but so far, we feel great together. With time, our differences would disappear, and we will grow to be perfectly aligned with each other. Isn’t it a natural process, which works with 100% success rate for every couple?
Actually, it’s not that easy. For instance, if people in a relationship are fundamentally different in some specific matter, with time it can destroy a relationship, or cause a personal tragedy. In other cases, both partners possess flaws that are so similar, that partnership loses its balance, and also ends up in ruins. But even though these possibilities are very real, it’s not easy to see the warning signs at the early months, or even years, of a relationship.
That’s where the Vedic marriage compatibility system comes in. It is not trying to confirm whether two people really love each other. By the time when this system is called upon, especially in modern times, it is assumed that the partners already have affinity for each other, since they want to take such a serious step as marriage. Romantic love is not a concern of this assessment. By ordering a compatibility report from an astrologer, cautious Indian parents merely wish to confirm that this relationship can be successful in the long-term.
The potential strength of the relationship is verified by a series of factors, both positive and negative. Positive factors show positive influences which support the relationship. Negative factors, called “Blemishes” or “Afflictions”, show influences which weaken or completely negate the relationship. Not like a relationship it’s “vetoed”, but it is considered that for people in such a union “the price would be too big”. It means that partners will have a hard time adjusting to one another, unless they are willing to go through some pretty deep psychological rewiring.
The mentioned above compatibility factors (and this also can apply to any relationship between two people, be they friends, business partners or lovers), are determined based on the positions of the Moon in a Zodiac sign and in the Nakshatra, at the birth time of both partners. As the Moon is considered a "guardian of our destiny and mindset" in the current lifetime, it’s Sidereal location tells a rich story about a person which is born into this world.
The methods used for the analysis are rather complicated for a person without astrological background. Here I only make a brief, very simplified introduction into nature of the influences which each factor is designed to assess, because, according to Vedic thought, they can make or break a happy married life.
The “Breaking” Factors - Afflictions
Affliction 1: Vedha Dosha - “Obstruction”
If Vedha Dosham is present, the “destinies” of the partners are not aligned. They simply will not be able to live together at one time and place, due to the circumstances out of their control.
Affliction 2: Rajju Dosha - “Rope”
If Rajju Dosham is present, the couple is bound together by the “rope of misfortune”. There will be an ongoing energy drain that would ultimately devastate the relationship.
There are 5 categories of such energy drains:
1 - “Bound by Feet'': The couple will be in constant doubts, ups and downs, unable to make the relationship stand on its feet.
2 - “Bound by Hip”: Both parties would feel like they are giving up too much to be in this relationship. There will be a nagging sense of “lacking” or “missing out” on something.
3 - “Bound by Navel”: The couple will be creatively and sexually incompatible. Any cooperation like raising children or building a house together will become a source of frustration, leading to emotional emptiness and indifference.
4 - “Bound by Neck”: The Feminine receptive energy will be frustrated. A woman would feel captured in harsh and inflexible circumstances.
5 - “Bound by Head”: The Masculine dynamic energy will be frustrated. There will be so much distraction and emotions in this union, that no progressive action forward can be taken.
The “Making” Factors
Factor 1: Strii Dirgha “Long Woman”
The check is based on the relationship between placement Nakshatras of partner’s Moons. This is a very important factor. If Strii Dirgha is satisfied, the energy flow in the union goes in the “right” direction, from a man to a woman. A man is able to contribute to a relationship, and a woman can be receptive to his efforts. If the Strii Dirgha factor is not satisfied, a man would feel "nudged" by a woman, and will not be emotionally invested into this relationship. A woman would feel frustrated, like she has to “do everything herself”, and to carry the whole relationship on her own energy.
Factor 2: Ashta Kootas - “Eight Points”
There are eight distinctive categories, from which we can judge the energy flow within a relationship. Each category allows the gain of a certain maximum number of points, depending on how fully this factor is satisfied. There are 36 possible koota points in total can be gained. For the union to be deemed “favourable”, 17 or more Koota points needs to be gained.
Nadi Koota -”Health”. Gains up to 8 points
Nadi means “vein” - a flow of life stream. There are 3 types of streams - windy, watery and fiery. The partners should not be of the same types, otherwise “too much of the same element” becomes a destabilizing force in a relationship, causing tremendous energy drain:
If they are both of “watery” type, the marriage will be an emotional rollercoaster over every mundane issue.
If they are both of a “windy” type, there will be too many directional changes, resulting in loss of focus, firm base and security.
If they are both of a “fiery” type, there will be issues of anger, aggression and frustration, causing inability to handle life situations.
Bha Koota - “Unity”. Gains up to 7 points.
Bha Koota evaluates the dynamic between the types of “mind” of the partners. In certain cases, their minds are predisposed to be incompatible, causing one of the 3 unfavourable reactions, which disrupt the feeling of “unity” in the couple:
Arguments, discord and abrupt changes, leading to stress and illnesses;
Neglect, absenteeism and avoidance, leading to losses and poverty;
Competitiveness, criticism and individualism, leading to rivalry between partners.
Gana Koota - “Character”. Gains up to 6 points.
There are 3 types of “characters”, or “Gunas”:
Deva (Gods): calm, serene, kind, polite and steadfast. They stand on an even keel.
Manusha (Humans): industrious and innovative.
Rakshasa (Demons): temperamental, unpredictable, intense and eccentric.
The best case scenario here is when both partners are in the same Guna. The worst case is when the woman is in the Rakshasa Guna, and the man is not. Because a Rakshasa woman is highly temperamental and emotional, the Deva or Manusha man would find it hard to tolerate.
Graha Maitram Koota - “Friendship”. Gains up to 5 points.
This check evaluates the level of understanding in a couple, which grows from things like mutual likes and dislikes and common interests. If there’s not enough mutually engaging subjects for both partners, they won’t be able to spend a lot of quality time together..
Yoni Koota - “Instinctive Mind”. Gains up to 4 points.
Yoni literally means “vagina”, and it refers to the primal instincts of humans. There are 28 types of instinctive behavior, signified by 14 different animals of male and female gender. The instinctive types of the partners must be compatible. If they aren’t - not only discord will be felt in the sexual area, but also there will be a lack of unified response in stressful and intense situations.
Tara Koota - “Gratitude”. Gains up to 3 points.
This characteristic measures how satisfied both partners will be in this union. In particular, it checks if a woman will be happy with the things that man offers her. In general, this Koota reflects the dynamics between feminine and masculine energy, explained in my other article Why do we settle for unhappy relationships?. This Koota does not gain a lot of points, and can be ignored if many other factors in the matching table show good compatibility - in particular, Strii Dirgha and other high-value items.
Vasya Koota - “Devotion”. Gains up to 2 points.
This check, featuring rather complicated rules, finds if one or both partners would feel devoted to the other. There are 5 types of creatures in this assessment - “Quadrupled”, “Humans”, “Moving in Wilderness”, “Moving in Water” and “Insects”, analyzed on principles of being equal, subordinated or “food” to one another. It's rather a peculiar little test, and it won’t be felt strongly if it gained no points.
Varna Koota - “Life Motivation”. Gains up to 1 point.
This assessment is based on Hindu ancient “Caste” system. However, the “caste” in astrology is not determined by lineage, but by the zodiac position of the Moon. There are 4 castes in total:
Brahmins - Teachers, motivated by spiritual path and liberation;
Kshatriyas - Warriors, motivated by dharma or Truthful Action;
Vaisyas - Merchants, motivated by social interactions and happiness;
Sudras - Producers of Goods, motivated by comfort and wealth.
The winning combinations here are when both partners are of the same caste, or when a man is of higher caste than a woman, ensuring successful “male to female” energy flow.
Special Factors - Upashkaras.
These factors are special, because they believed to add “magical” or “otherworldly” quality to a relationship.
Special Factor 1: Vasya - “Adoration”
This is different from Vasya Koota, in a sense that it makes one or both partners “magically attracted” to the other, and therefore ready to do everything in their capacity for the other. It brings a whole new layer of feelings to the relationship. If the overall match is successful, it adds extra comfort and kindness to the relationship. But if the compatibility is not good, and the relationship fails, this could lead to pains of “unrequited love”.
Special Factor 2: Mahendra - “Purposefullness”
With Mahendra in place, people have a miraculous feeling that they are “meant to be together”, and that they “have a special purpose for being together”. Same as with Vasya, it’s a great gift if a relationship is successful, and a real curse if it isn’t. In case of bad compatibility, Mahendra will usually keep the couple together, even if they both desire to leave the relationship.
There are some additional special cases that also could be taken into consideration, like the Moon of both partners falling into the same Nakshatra, and the presence of the Martian energies in the consciousness of the individuals. Also, there are special conditions when “afflictions” and missing Ashta Koota points can be ignored. But all these complexities just add more colors to the spectrum. In the end of the day, Vedic compatibility system delivers a comprehensive analysis of the subtle psychological layers, which serve as a glue for a future union. Let’s hope the glue is strong enough!
Sources used in this article:
“Relationship Astrology Course” by Sam Geppy;
“Vedic Relationship Astrology” by Laura Barat.